Sex, Mood, and Marriage
Ever feel like you’re just not cut out for marriage?
Ever feel like you don’t last long enough in bed?
Most men feel that way at least a few times in their lives… And here’s what you can do about it: Sex expert Teesha Morgan carries the key to unlocking your sexual stamina — for good.
Ever feel anxious, or even depressed?
Maybe it’s emotional. Maybe it’s medical. Dr. Z will help you discover the cause of YOUR moodiness.
Our relationship experts explain the “Big Lie” that keeps us believing there’s something wrong with us if we don’t want to get married.
How Do YOU Stack Up In the Bedroom?By Teesha Morgan
Ever wonder how much sex others are having? What the average time spent on foreplay is? Or how you can last longer in bed?
Well, grab a pen and paper, because this month’s article is all about sex facts and quick tips for longer lasting, all-around greater sex.
How long and how often?
The average amount of time spent during sex varies greatly depending on many factors.
These factors range from what country you live in to whether or not foreplay is included in the definition of sex.
It is therefore difficult to find credible sources that agree on this average statistic.
Some quote the time to be 3 to 10 minutes, while others testify that it’s 15 minutes to an hour. Getting multiple sources to agree on this can be difficult.
However, the number of days a week couples are engaging in intercourse has a greater concordance. Men and women in committed relationships report having sex (with and without foreplay) approximately two to three times a week.
Foreplay for the masses
The average time spent on foreplay also seems to draw a reliable consensus, with North America spending an average of 19.7 minutes on foreplay prior to sex, and the UK topping the charts with an average of 22.5 minutes.
So why spend so much time on foreplay?
Well, longer foreplay generally leads to better sex.
Our brains are our largest sex organ, so taking the time to warm up our brains and our bodies can create a far more pleasurable experience… especially for your wife or girlfriend!
Foreplay not only increases lubrication and boosts the chances of a woman reaching orgasm; it also gives biology (her hormones) time to catch up with any sexy activity.
Better foreplay for her
So how do you spend the time getting your girl fired up — without turning the main event into a very quick event?
There are a couple ways to achieve this.
First of all, start slow. It’s not a race to see who can “come out on top.” Tease her slowly by starting above the belt. And make sure she does the same for you.
Listen to her non-verbal responses as you kiss her neck or nibble her ear — and you’ll quickly figure out what turns her on.
And take notice of the sexy little things she’s doing to you. Chances are, if she’s kissing your belly, she’d like her belly kissed too!
Lasting longer in the main event
After a sexy foreplay session, you might need these tips to help you last longer during sex:
- Kegels: It’s important for men to keep up with your Kegel exercises (25 a day is ideal).
- Masturbation: Regular masturbation is important because if you haven’t ejaculated recently, your chances of staying erect without ejaculation drastically decreases.
- The “Squeeze”: You can also practice the “squeeze technique” while masturbating or during intercourse.
This involves becoming stimulated up until the point of ejaculatory inevitability (point of no return) and then pressing firmly on your frenulum with two fingers until that feeling dissipates.
You can then continue to have sex or masturbate until the feeling of ejaculatory inevitability resurfaces, at which time you can continue practicing the “squeeze technique” and continue the cycle.
By practicing these useful tips, you can drive your woman wild — and last longer in bed for the main event!
So go forth and have fun! Fore “play” is written that way for a reason!
Are You Sad — Or Is It SAD?By Dr. Z, ND
QUESTION: Why do I get mood swings, feel anxious, or experience depression?
ANSWER: There are many different reasons for mood swings, anxiety, and depression.
Every sufferer requires an individualized approach to evaluation and treatment. Treatment protocols depend on the patient’s unique case history and the causes for their present condition.
Causes of anxiety and depression
There are a wide variety of factors that can contribute to feelings of anxiety and depression. Let’s have a look at some of the most common causes.
And if you recognize yourself in any of these descriptions, don’t hesitate to contact your doctor or naturopath. Anxiety and depression can be treated!
Relationships and emotional trauma
Anxiety and depression can be caused by external factors such as difficulties in relationships and various emotional traumas.
These can include the loss of a loved one, stress at work or home, parenting issues, and many other issues.
In my experience, as well as according to recent research in the fields of psychology and psychiatry, a lot of people suffer from unresolved or “complicated” grief.
This sometimes dates back to very early childhood experiences of loss, such as moving from a beloved home or losing a family pet, or more serious losses like that of a sibling or a parent.
Homeopathy in particular can frequently be remarkably effective at relieving long-held, often subconscious grief, which may have affected your life for decades.
If you are gaining weight, feeling tired, cold, and unmotivated, chances are your thyroid may be underactive. This can cause anxiety and depression.
Have your TSH, T3, and T4 levels evaluated by your medical doctor. The American Association of Endocrinologists recently lowered the acceptable TSH level from 4.7 to 3.0, which means that many people with hypothyroid conditions were under-diagnosed in the past.
If you have suspected abnormal thyroid function in the past and have been tested, ask to see your previous thyroid test results.
Naturopathic doctors can often treat thyroid disorders naturally.
Seasonal Affective Disorder
If you have the blues during the winter months, it could be due to Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), which is really a light deficiency.
Exposure to bright light, preferably sunlight, on waking can control SAD.
There are specialized lights available that produce a high-intensity light, simulating sunlight, which can be purchased at a reasonable cost.
Exposure to this type of light can be very effective for SAD.
If you are feeling anxious or depressed, speak with a medical professional right away. You don’t need to battle this alone.
“Just For Guys” Fun Fact…
“Irritable Male Syndrome” is a relatively new term applied to men with severe mood changes.
The Elephant and The Tiger
Unless you live under a rock, you’ve probably heard that Tiger Woods recently entered “sex therapy.”
And, as you might imagine, the “girlie men” in the media are squealing with delight because they are secretly jealous of Mr. Woods’ abilities to attract women and do things that might land one in sex therapy.
No one, however, has addressed the real reasons why Tiger Woods is where he is, because to do so, they must acknowledge the elephant in the room.
A big, fat, lying elephant
That elephant is this: Tiger Woods should have never bought into the “marriage ethic” in the first place. He should have stayed single, and should not have caved to social pressure. He was a victim of “the big lie.”
What’s the big lie?
Okay: You meet a beautiful woman. You feel chemistry for her (or try to). You look like you’re matched. So you get married.
And then you ascend to heaven, to stay there forever more. Right?
Unfortunately, that’s not how the world works. That’s why there are so many divorce lawyers prospering.
The Big Lie is just that — a big lie.
The truth about men
The reality is, there are two kinds of men in this world.
There are “marriage-and-kids” men and “rock-and-roll” guys. Rock-and-roll guys are not cut out to get married. They SHOULD spend time with lots of different naughty girls, should indulge their fantasies, should “be bad.”
Why? Because they make lousy husbands.
And when a rock-and-roll guy buys into The Big Lie and tries to become a marriage-and-kids guy, well… he winds up on TV and in sex therapy because he’s trying to be something he’s not.
Now, don’t get me wrong — I am NOT anti-marriage in any way.
I am very much a pro-marriage guy, and happy to say that many of my customers have gotten and stayed married because of my advice, and many others have saved their relationships because of it.
Our society is based on the family unit, which includes a happy, healthy marriage. But there’s the rub — a happy, healthy marriage.
And if you stick a guy who is not prepared for the real world reality, rigors, and responsibility of marriage into such a situation, disaster will result.
The truth about YOU
The point I’m trying to make is this: Before you get involved in a committed relationship, make sure you are truly ready for the reality of it, truly ready for the responsibility, truly ready to give up what you have to give up for it.
If you’re currently a rock-and-roll guy, play your guitar loud and proud.
Rock the house, and improve the lives of a few naughty girls.
Sometime in the future when you have age and wisdom on your side, perhaps you can turn off the lights, put your guitar away, and become a marriage-and-kids guy.
Nothing wrong with that. In fact, I encourage it.
But if you’re not there yet, take a lesson from Tiger… don’t fall for The Big Lie.
Marriage is neither an end nor a goal to be achieved. It’s the beginning of a tremendous responsibility.
Don’t take it on until you’re ready… and when you’re ready, take it on with all you’ve got.
But be honest with yourself about whether you are truly ready… or else you might end up in “sex therapy” simply because the urge to play your guitar loud was still there when “they” lied to you and told you it would go away.
See You Next Time!
Your sex life, your mood, your marriage — or lack of it: Improve these three areas of your life and you’ll be feeling fantastic in no time.
Don’t forget that you can contact our experts any time to ask about your most pressing concerns and let us know what topics you’d like to see covered in upcoming issues of the “Just For Guys” Newsletter!
To better living,Craig JacksonEditor, JustForGuys.com