Let’s Talk About SEX (baby!)
Woo-hoo! Sex: our favorite topic. Our favorite pastime. Let’s talk about sex…
- Sex and your fertility. Okay, before you start letting the air outta that balloon, this is GOOD news: a simple supplement you can take to boost your fertility and perhaps help reduce the risk of chromosomal abnormalities.
- Getting sexy with your female friend. Or getting friendly with the girl you’ve been getting sexy with.Discover how sweet this combination can be.
- Sex and pain. You heard me!Check out what our sex expert has to say about how to enjoy the pleasures of BDSM — safely and consensually.
Read on to learn more about the many facets of sex!
Folic Acid and Male Fertility
By Dr. Z, ND
If there was a vitamin that could reduce your risk of cancer, heart disease, stroke, depression, diabetes, memory loss, and birth defects… and increase the quality of your sperm to boot, would you take it?
Named after the word “foliage,” folic acid is found in foods like spinach and swiss chard. And yes, it can do all these things for you.
You may have heard of women taking folic acid supplements when they are trying to get pregnant. This is common practice nowadays to help ward off any chromosomal abnormalities that can develop upon conception — before a woman even knows she is pregnant.
But did you know how important folic acid is for men, too?
Folic Acid and Your Chromosomes
Folic acid and its metabolites, collectively known as folates, belong to the B vitamin group and are involved in a surprisingly large number of important biochemical processes in the body.
One of the most important roles of folic acid is to aid in the process called “methylation,” without which our chromosomes and genes cannot be properly produced or reproduced.
In one recent study, nutrient intake and sperm health in 89 healthy men were analyzed.
Those with the highest folate intake had the lowest incidence of chromosomally abnormal sperm — up to 30 percent less than the low-folate group.
Other nutrients, including beta-carotene, vitamin C, vitamin E, and zinc had no effect on chromosome defects.
A previous study examined the effect of folic acid on 65 infertile men with abnormal sperm.
Overall sperm health improved by the end of the study and moreover, among these 65 couples presenting with infertility for 3.2 years on average, 24 conceived within 6 months following the folic acid treatment.
Folic Acid and Your Reproductive Health
Any rapidly dividing cells, which included sperm cells, are dependent on folate for normal DNA formation.
It has been known for decades that a deficiency of folic acid in a pregnant woman may lead to very severe birth defects, including babies born with parts of their brain or spinal cord uncovered.
As a result, all white flour in North America is by law fortified with folic acid.
And women of reproductive age — especially those trying to conceive or already pregnant — are encouraged to take folic acid supplements.
Perhaps, in the future, the recommendation to take folic acid will be extended to men trying to conceive a child as well.
The Truth about Dating Your “Friends”
In the last issue of the “Just For Guys” Newsletter, we talked about how to go from “friends” to “physical” with a girl you’re really interested in.
And in this issue, I want to continue along the topic of friendship…
“Let’s just be friends…”
Every guy has been on the receiving end of the “let’s just be friends” line — and oh, how we hate it.
What it really means is: SEE YA. It has nothing to do with friendship at all. It means she’s not attracted to you.
But the reality is, friendship (true friendship) does have a very important place in relationships — especially long-term ones.
In fact, if you closely examine the relationships that last, you’ll see that both people are really good friends in addition to everything else.
In last issue’s article, we talked about getting from “friends” to “physical.” But what we didn’t talk about are the very good possibilities between you and your friend.
Think about it: You have a good friend, someone you love to hang out with and have a good time with.
And the attraction level is there.
Taking things to that physical level can mean entering into a really great relationship.
The reality is that friendship ultimately determines whether or not a relationship will stand the test of time.
You see, when you’re friends with a woman, you genuinely like her in addition to being attracted to her.
You want to see her… you want to spend time with her because it’s a lot of fun. You have similar interests, likes, and dislikes. You understand each other because you are friends.
When the Sparks Burn Out…
Far too many relationships are formed where there is no friendship. There’s white-hot passion at the beginning, but when that wears off (and it always does), there’s nothing left.
Oftentimes you discover that you actually don’t even like the person very much.
So, if you want to have a long-term, lasting relationship, make sure she’s good “friend material” in addition to everything else.
Make sure you want to spend plenty of time with her, even as the urgency of your physical attraction ebbs and flows through the course of your relationship.
That’s what makes it real.
That’s what will make your relationship stand the test of time.
This is one case where being “friends” is a very good thing.
“Just For Guys” Fun Fact…
94% of men and women believe it’s possible to fall in love with a friend.
BDSM 101: Hurt Me So Good!By Adora Diana
Many people have experimented with spanking or the occasional love-bite during sex…
And some of you may be curious about expanding this form of playfulness, but unsure about where to start. Bondage… Sado-Masochism… What does all this really mean? And is it dangerous?
You may not be aware that these — and many other — kinds of sexual playfulness are usually grouped under the umbrella term “BDSM.”
What is BDSM?
BDSM is made up of four acronyms:
- Bondage and Discipline
- Domination and Submission
- slave/Master (s/M)
- Sado-Masochism (SM)
What many people don’t understand is that BDSM is not violence or abuse.
The difference may be unclear to a person unfamiliar with BDSM, but to a person who knows kink and BDSM, they are worlds apart.
Violence is abusive and has the intent to cause emotional or physical harm. BDSM play is just that: play.
BDSM can be a form of role play for mutual enjoyment.
The people involved participate in the play because they want to.
Boundaries MUST be set and respected.
Many participants use it as a way to increase the trust bond within a relationship, or to experiment with personal boundaries in a safe setting.
The tops (dominants or sadists) in the play and the bottoms (submissives or masochists) in the play both gain a rewarding experience and an escape from the average day-to-day limitations of their usual roles.
The top has the perception of power; however it is the bottom that actually holds the true power. Either party can stop the play at any time and for any reason by using the “safe word.”
Safe, Sane, and Consensual
Consent is absolutely required for this type of exchange. Perhaps one of the most common phrases in BDSM is “Safe, Sane, and Consensual.”
It’s important that we understand exactly what this phrase means.
Safe BDSM means:
- Play with someone you trust or feel safe with. The partner you play with must be carefully chosen!
- Understand that you also need to make your partner feel safe and trusting.
- Set guidelines before you start,including: YES (I want to try), MAYBE (I want to see if I like it), and NO (I’m not interested).
- Before play, agree on a “Safe Word” to keep the boundaries from being overstepped.The words “No” and “Stop” are avoided as safe words because they might be used in the role play. It is common to use the traffic light colors: “yellow” means “slow down” or “take it easy,” and “red” means “stop now.”
- Look up safety information about what you may want to do.For example, if hitting someone, the fleshy areas are more protected (like the bum) whereas the kidneys are vulnerable. Always avoid hitting sensitive areas like the kidneys!If you experiment with bondage, be aware to safeguard blood flow and airways. Never leave someone in bondage unattended!
Sane BDSM means:
- BDSM play is planned to minimize physical and emotional risk.
- There is always control. If one player loses control, the play can become dangerous and may need to be stopped.
- Alcohol and drugs are best avoided, or at least used in moderation during BDSM play.
- BDSM is not a healthy outlet for feelings of anger or jealousy. These can cause a person to ignore the other person’s well-being and can lead to an abusive situation.
Consensual BDSM means:
- Consent is mandatory in BDSM play.The BDSM community is extremely sensitive about this issue as a matter of safety for all participants.
- If someone within the community disregards a safe word or goes beyond what is consented to, they will be reported within the BDSM community.They may be expelled from the community or reported to law enforcement.
If “safe, sane, and consensual BDSM” is something you want to explore, find some reliable information.
Be aware that popular pornography may not be true to safe practices. Remember: porn is scripted.
Search out resources about BDSM play by those who are knowledgeable about it. Two excellent books on the subject include SM101 by Jay Wiseman and Come Hither by Gloria Brame.
Above all, respect your own limitations and boundaries, be safe, sane, and consensual, and have fun!
See You Next Time!
Well, those are some pretty different sides to the sex coin! But from fertility to sex play, it’s all important, and you need to have information you can rely on.
To better living,